Thứ Tư, 26 tháng 6, 2013
escape, a novel by luong minh dao 5 - 4
escape
a novel by luong minh dao
" What happened ? " Ho-A, standing at the cabin door, asked.
Van shook his head and turned to the sea. She walked towards him.
" What happened?" Ho-A sat down beside Van and repeated.
" Please sit closer to me," Van said.
" What happened?"
" I feel lonely; I feel very isolated and hepless ."
Ho-A out her arm around his back and pulled Van against her side.
" No, you are not lonely," Ho-A said. " Do you remember, last night you said that both of us were only one person?"
Last night, Van remembered, when he walked into the cabin, Ho-A was sitting quietly at the window, string at the dark foaming waves. He sat down on his heels beside her :
" Ho-A, can I ask you a personal question ?"
" Sure ".
: Do you believe that I thought of drinking urine to survive this ?"
" Are you serious ?"
Yes, I am. I did think of it, and, how about you ?"
" Yes, when I felt very thirsty, yes, a couple of times. However, I think that women's urine is not clean "
" I heard some women on our boat said so, " Van said." But ..." Van showed Ho-A thew small cup he had hidden behind his back. " That's why I saved this for you," Van continued. " Please take it, at least, it less dangerous than sea water."
Ho-A kept her hands still on her lap.
" Don't be afraid, " Van said; " nothing can be more correct, more shameless than our choice ."
After long silence, Ho-A took the cup and bought it to her lips. Gritting his teeth, Van wanted to hold her in his arms, tightly against his chest. She showed the empty cup to Van.
" I found it in a corner of the stern," Van said, pushing the cup back, "please keep it and give back to me when you can, " Van said .
" But, I think that it is ..."
" No, I don't think so, " Van said, holding her hand," I am really thirsty."
Van went to the corner where there were only the useless bags of rice, the bag of shrimp, and the almost empty bag of jimacas. He toook a small tube of toohpaste from the shelve on the walL He went back to Ho-A.
"Put a little on your teeth," Van said, squeezing the tube, " you will no longer feel nauseous."
Ho-A dis as Van said.
" Yes, I feel better. Thank you," Ho-A said.
" You tried this before?" Ho-A asked a long silence.
" Yes, I tried this morning ."
Van saw some bright dots of light on Ho-A's face. He believed that she was crying. Sitting quietly at the window, they looked at the waves.
It was late, and the sky was full of stars. The waves seemed noiser than during the day. Ho-A stood up and left the cabin for the stern deck. Ho-A came back, she handed Van the cup. Van drank it. He held the empty cup in his hand and sat flat on the floor beside her, leaning his elbows against the window.
" I remember someome says that if we are in the same space with another person, we breath in the air the other breaths out, we become that person, " Van smiled and said; " so you cand I are certaintly the one-only person ."
You always have strange ideas," Ho-A said." I am afraid that I'll fall in love with you some day."
" They laughed.
" I miss our ciity, Ho-A, " Van said, " It is not large, and why I did not meet you there, why ?'
" Because ... I did not come to you and you did not come to me ."
" Why ?"
" Why?" looking at Van, Ho-A said. It seemed that she had a fleeting hesistation; then, she did not continue the conversation.
They went outside and stayed on the deck late, looking at the horizon.
That night, it was very cold; the waves incessantly poured water in through the crack of the window. They tried to put their heads close to the cabin wall to be far away from the window; but their feet and the legs on their pants were soaked with cold water. The cabin seemed much larger although only Kim's lttle baby no longer existed, and Phu-Oc stayed with his friend in the passenger's compartment. Ho-A was sleeping on her side, resting her leg on Van's abdomen. He thought of the woman drifting on whitecaps and fell asleep.
In the middle of that night, Van woke up. He heard Kim's little girl crying in her sleep, asking for water. Her voice floated on the rhythmic movement of silence and noisy sound of falling waves. Suddenly, Van heard Kim's voice.
"Wake up, wake up," Kim said shaking her daughter's shoulder. " Wake up ".
Van crawled towards them.
" Please don't, " Van said , holding Kim's arm.
Kim put her other hand on his, and Van could feel that her arms and her shoulders were trembling. Thinking that she was crying, Van was afraid of withdrawing his hand from hers. The others were sleeping ; their bodies were swinging with the boat. Van felt asleep.
When Van woke up, he heard the passengers talking and laughing on the decks of the cabin and the passengers' compartment and the rain falling on the window beside him. Ho-A was standing on the two bags of rice, which were laid flat one above the other on the floor, and the upper half of her body rose above the deck through the opening on the cabin roof. Ha-Hue and Hue-Tu were spreading loosely the rain coat under the rain. Ho-A was catching water falling from the hollow line in the middle of the back of the raincoat into a vase. She looked down, some drops of water fell from her hair to Van's face.
" Van stand up," she said.
Van stood on the bags of rice.
" Closer,"Ha-Hue said.
They lowered the raincoat. Van felt cold water creeping between his lips and on his tongue, it was very sweet; Van swalloved it slowly.
" Do you have any container?" Ha-Hue asked.
" No, But I have an idea," Van said. " Thank you. " He raised the edge of the raincoat and gave it to
Ho-A.
Van moved to the window. He opened it and sat on its frame, gripping the upper beam with both hands, he extended his head, looking to the dark sky. The rain was heavy, and the waves almost reached his back. He let rainwater run from his face into his mouth; it was cool and sweet.
The rain did not last long. The boat became quiet. Ho-A gave the vase to Ha-Hue. She sat down on the bags of rice and smiled. On the other side of the cabin, the mechanic's wife was preparing milk for her son. Kim was holding a ;little tin can above her daughter's face and let the last drops of water fall on her lips. Fronm the stern deck, Dan limped back to the cabin.
From water, Van climbed up the deck; in the gentle wind, he felt cold. He put on his shirt and pants. Phu-Oc and his friend were on the passengers' deck. ; His friend was lying on his back; Phu-Oc was sitting beside him, waving his hand to Van. Dan was on the stern deck, slowly unwrapped the wound above his right ankle. Van sat down beside him. When Dan took off the end of the covering cloth, the scab was removed with it. The wound was about an inch long and not very deep, but it oozed a little thick yellow fluid.
" I am very sorry; it looks painful," Van said.
" It hurts only when I walk, but not much," Dan said. " Do you think that wrapping is better ?"
" I don 't know, " Van said. " Let's see is anything in the first aid box ."
" I did check it, " Dan said. " There is nothing but a vial of penicillin powder."
" Did you used it ?"
" No. It's for injection; there is no syringe, no solution."
" Good. We can use it., " Van said.
Van went to the cabin. He opened thr first aid box on the wall above the door. The vial rolled and fell down; Van caught it. He went back to the deck and sat in front of Dan.
" My sister had appendicits during the war before the Convention of Geneva," removing the aluminum seal of the vial, Van said. He lowered his head and looked at the wound. " She was a teacher in our small town. She had the surgery in the field hospital of a Legionnaire Mobile Group because my father knew the surgeon in his civil mission not long before ."
" Can you blot off the pus?" Van asked, opening the stopper.
Dan pressed the cloth onto the wound.
" I saw the surgeon pour penicillin powder into the surgical cut after he removed the appendix, " Van said and poured the powder from the the vial to the wound. " I hope that it works ."
" It looks hopeful, " Dan said.
" Do you have a new cloth?" Van asked, pouring a little more powder to the wound.
Dan took a narrow strip of cloth from his pocket and showed it to Van, it seemed that Dan had torn it off from his T-shirt. Van held the strip and torn off a small piece. Hee folded it and then, poured a little powder on. Van put the piece on the wound.
" Now, I think you should wrap it, " Van said .
Dan wrapped the cloth around his leg. Van put the stopper back.
" I am very sorry, " Van said, giving the vial to Dan. " It happened many days ago and I did not give much thought to your wound ."
" Maybe we were too busy with many things that happened every minute in this difficult period, " Dan said, " so busy that we seemed cold or hostile. Do you notice that we did not ask each other about our thirst and hunger ?" Dan smiled.
" Perhaps we were afraid of asking, " Van said, " this fear amde us distant from each other. But
why fear ?"
" I felt it also, " Dan said, " but I don't know why ."
" Its strange that, " Van said, " we do not know anything about the passengers' compartment, even how many of them had died we do not know. Why we are so seperated although there is only a thin partition wall between us, although we are sharing these miserable circumstances."
" Perhaps they are different, " Dan said. " Most of them are from China-Town, we do not have much in common to talk about ."
"Ho-A is from China-Town also, " Van said. " And the mechanic's family, do we know and share their thoughts and feelings?
" I don't know, perhaps they seemed different, and we are afraid misunderstanding."
" No. We are afraid of communication because of steering the boat and cooking the meals, " Van said and laughed after a short pause. " Do you think it's ironic?"
" I see it crazy, " said Dan .
" Help!Help!" Van heard Phu-Oc shout.
They stood up.
" Give me a buoy, he landed on water, " Phu Oc said, looking down the sea. " Hurry up ! "
Van untied the knot of the rope and took a lfebuoy from the cabin wall; he climbed up the deck and ran to Phu-Oc. Phu-Oc took the buoy and threw it to his friend, who was swimming after the port side of the boat. He could not catch the buoy, and the wind and the waves brought it farther and farther out of his reach.
" The rope," Van shouted; " where is the rope ?"
" We used them all to make fire," Dan said, walking towards them.
" Give me another buoy, " Phu-Oc said, turning his head to them.
The multipes wrinkles on Phu-Oc's face startled Van. He ran to the stern. When Van returned with a buoy, the wind and the waves already pushed the boat very far away from Phu-Oc's friend, who was flapping and kicking violently with his arms and his legs in the midst of white- crested waves. Phu-Oc put his head and his left arm through the ring of the buoy and let it rest on his right shoulder and his left side.
" No, you cannot do anything for him," Van gripped the buoy and said, " the boat drifted too fast."
" There is no better decision, do you see ? " Phu-Oc said and slowly took Van's hand off the lifebuoy.
" Please don't, " said Van.
" It is the best choice, I see, " Phu-Oc said, turning away.
He jumped into water and swam towards his friend who was disappearing into the waves. Then, Van could not differentiate between Phu-Oc's white shirt and the incessantly moving caps.
Dan and Van stayed on the deck. They did not exchange a word. When they went back to the cabin, Ho-A was sleeping on her side, her head resting on a bag of rice. She woke up when Van moved the bag of jicamas. They cut jicamas into halves and distributed them to the children.
When they returned, Van gave halves of jicama to the mechanic's wife and Kim. Looking at Kim's daughter, Van did not know what he could say to her. He held the lttle girl's face in his hands and kissed her forehead , her eyes were dull and too large for her face. Van was afraid.
" Thanks," said Kim.
" How are you?" Kim continued, hesistating.
" How are you?" Van said, thinking that she held back from talking about Phu-Oc.
Ho-A and van sat beside Dan. They leaned their backs against the wall of the cbin and closed their eyes.
"When I went down the passengers' compartment, I noticed that the water level in our boat was critically high," Van said to Dan, " What can we do ?"
" I tried to start the engine yesterday, but it did not work, the water pump, connected to it, becomes useless; the spare motor fell into the river in the first night."
" We can bail water with the buckets we have in the engine compartment?" Van asked.
" Who wants to work for the others with an empty stomach like ours ?"
( to be continued )
luong minh dao
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