escape, a novel by luong minh dao - 5 - 5

                                      escape
                                        a novel by  luong minh dao 


     " But we have to try, " Ho-A said; " Who knows ?"
    " Who will do the campaign?"
     " You ?" Dan asked Ho-A.
    " No, you, " Van said, " you are the most qualified person."
    " Why ?"
    " You took, " Van said, " you are the most qualified person. "
    "Why ?"
    " You took theo boat down the river and gave it to us, " Van answered and smiled.
    " You are right," Ho-A said. " I am only a simple boat woman, but you,  you represent the boat company, " Ho-A said and half-laughed.
     " Alright," Dan said and stood up.
   Dan limped down the passenger's compartment .


      Van was lying  on his stomach on the cabin deck, which was little higher than the passengers' compartment.   He laerned his elbows on the floor and let his chin rest in his hands.   He looked at the far horizon where still clouds built up like a while wall dividing the two different worlds.

    " It is possible that it divides water and land, liquid and solid, certainly and uncertainly, " Van thought.   He remembered Phu-Oc at the moment he jumped deep into white- crested waves, rose up, and swam desperately to other waves in front of him.   Van 
 tried to recall his conversations with Phu-Oc to understand whether he had accused him of carelessness in taking the steering during the storm or he had expressed any idea that could influence Phu-Oc in making his fatal decision.   Van could not have any clear memory but the vague feeling that he had been partially responsible.   His face, his voice, or simply his presence could be an infulential factor, Van thought.   He missed the moment when they  talked about the architectural  style for their capital in the future.   Van was certain that that moment would never happen again. " Phu-Oc is dead", Van thought.

    Suddenly  Van saw Ha-Hue appear  at the opening on the deck of the passengers' compartment; only the upper half of her body rose above the floor level .   They were only a foot away from each other.
   " You startled me, " laughing, she said.
    " You or I did?" Van laughed.
    " Now, only four of us," she said, the youths no longer want to continue bailing water."
     " Now, there are only four ? Van asked. " Do you want to give up also ?"
    " What makes you think so? " she laughed again. 
    " No, I thought of the opposite, " Van said.   " Last night, we did most of the job, and we did it well, do we have any new reason for giving up today ?"
    " Certainly not.  But I found this on the bottom of the engine compartment," Ha-Hue said, showing Van a wet jicama.  " I don't know it it's edible ."
    " Let me check," said Van.

    She handed him the jicama, it was cold and soaked to it flesh with water. Its skin thin and almost opaque, smelled lightly petroleum.   Van used his front teeth to peel off the skin and looked at the plant.   It looked like a pickle, a jicama pickle, Van thought.  Then, he closed his eyes and bit into its flesh.   He chewed once and stopped.

    " it smells and tastes like a pickle, " Van said.
    He hand back the jicama to Ha-Hue.  Holding it, she looked into Van's eyes.
     " It's a pickle , a little salty, but every juicy, Van continued after chewing some more times and swallowed the piece.
    Ha-Hue stared at the jicama.
   " It does not taste of petroleum.  It is edible, " Van saId.
    Looking into Van' s eyes again, Ha-Hue bit into the jicama, she  chewed the piece slowly.
     "It's amazingly sweet, " she said, handing back the jicama to Van.
    " No, thanks," Van said, pushing it towards her.
    " Please, if you re not afraid of dying of food poisoning with me," Ha-Hue said and pushed it back.
    Van held the jicama.
   " Bite at the side of my bite if you're afraid of having more risk than I had." Ha-Hue said and smiled.

    Van bit the pickle as she said and was aware of the obvious ambiguity of her language  and gesture.   He looked at Ha-Hue's very bright eyes and did not know how to react next.   Last night, Van remembered , standing at the bottom of the boat, Ha-Hue looled up and handed the bucket of water to Van to empty it through the window of the passengers' compartment.   The light reflecting from her eyes was bright. so bright that Van could not move his arms in surprise until Hue-Tu and Ho-A from the end of the engine compartment asked him if he was tired.   Van did not answer. " If so, we can stop," Ho-A said.
     Van shook his head, Ha-Hue took back the pickle from Van's hand.
   " Thanks," Ha-Hue said and disappeared under the deck after closing the opening.

    That night they started bailing water when the air became cool.  It took about two hours to bring the water down  to a safe level.   They worked incessantly, taking turns  to do the hardest part -- to bring the bucket up from the engine compartment to the passengers' floor.   Dan was not allowed to participate because  of his wound, but he could not sleep.   Sitting at the partition door, he asked to  help them.
    " Don't attempt to persuade us with your lamenting voice, my friend, " Van laughed and said. " You can loose your footing if you go down here. " Van noticed that the ambiguity of language was always enjoyable.
    They all were very tired when they went to sleep.   During his sleep, Van smell well done beefsteak and mashed potatoes.  He thought that the were drifting very close to a ship or approaching land.   Then, he heard music, he recognized jazz with its eternal lamenting trumpet.   When he woke up, he had the feeling that a ship was quietly passing by the boat.  He looked at the starboard window of the boat.   Van saw the bow of a white ship, and then, its bridge with bridge windows.  Van pulled Ho-A's  hand .
    " A yatch, Ho-A," Van said; " A yatch."
   Ho-A rose up on her elbow.
    " What can we do ?" she asked >
    " Let's go outside ."

    They went to the stern deck after pulling Dan's leg to wake him up.   All three of them sat on the floor and watched the boat running by.   All its windows were bright.  There were no human shadows either on the deck or in the compartments.  The yatch slowly and smoothly disappeared into the night. " it could be only a dream," Van thought.
    " Before the yatch came, " Van said," I smelled flood.  Did you smell anything ?'
    "No, " Dan said. " It was only your illusion." Dan laughed." Ho-A, you must be very careful, someday  the thinks of your arms as fried chicken drumsticks".
     ' No,  don 't worry,  Ho-A, " Van said. "  I will warm you of the danger right at the moment I smell it ."
   " I wonder why we did not do anyrthing to stop the ship.  Why?" Ho-A said.
    " It was very simple, " Van said; "  we did not believe that it would  rescue us."
    " But, why did we think so ?"
    " I do no think that you are so difficult, Ho-A," Dan said.
    " What do you want me to say, Ho-A?" Van saked.
    " What do you mean ?"
     " To find an accusation or an excuse for not shouting for help?"
     "You' re crazy, Van ", Ho-A said and laughed.
    " Van's right," Dan said.
    " You want to take his side? I will kill both of you with another question, don't try to dodge," Ho-A looked at Van." the question Dan and I already put, can you guess ?"
    ' How can I guess when I do not know where you strike, " Van said.
    " Ah! You start dodging beautifully.   Why did you decide to distribute jicamas to children only ?"
   " Oh !"
   " Did you know that you r decision could be subjective, ungrounded, and gratuitous?"
     " Are you angry with me?" Van looked at Ho-A. " No, she is calm like dreaminbg." Van thought. 

     " Why not the old, not the young, not women?" Ho-A said. " But, here the key question;  who gave you the right to make that decision, to deprive the others of their rations?"
     "Ouch!"  Dan responded.
    " You cannot say that the silence of majority was an approval, no, it was  refusal to give you the approval you were waiting for.   They said that your decision was absurd."
     " I loved these questions, Van said.  " But why you wait until this moment to tell me ?"
      Because I liked your decision, and I agree with you, " Ho-A said, smiling, and looked  at Van. " I  did not want you to worry about searching out an excuse for it.   Now to answer my questions no longer matters because we cannot do anything with a couple of jicamas left.   I put these questions forwards just for fun or just to drive my attention away from the severe thirst I'm suffering."
    " But, who can answer your question?" Van said. " Even if I want to entertain you with an answer, I cannot because I am the person who is responsible."
     " You are very lazy, Van." Ho-A said. " Do you think so, Dan ?"
     " Perhaps," Dan said, " he was dreaming of a yatch  and beef fillet roasted  with garlic."
     " Or fried drumsticks." Ho-A said, " who knows."
     They laughed and went to the cabin. " Our laughter blew away all our possible futile resentment and anger, Van thought.
    White- crested waves were lower than the windows, and the floor was dry.   The others were  sleeping deeply.   Dan lay on his back nd rested his head on his hands.   Van lay down beside Ho-A and thought that his sleep would be very peacful with the rhythmic swing of the boat.

      Van woke up with the laughter coming from the stern deck.  He raised his head and saw the two youngsters sitting at the center of the deck.  They were peeling the skins and biting into the  jicamas.   They were chewing and laughing kike young boys playing with their toys.   Van sat up and leaned his back against the partition, resting his  arms on two bags of rice.   He watched them; their silhouettes against the dark gray sky were very animated and  playful.   Van thought that he did not have any reason to upset their enjoyment.
     Suddenly the taller youngster turned his head towards the cabin.
     "Ah! He woke up, " he said and laughed.
     " Give him a piece, " the other said.   He put his hand into the bag under his feet and took out a jicama.
    " The last one," he said, looking at the jicama.
     Van saw the youngster suddenly move his arm and the jicama flying towards him.   Van dodged his head and caught the jicama with his right hand.   The two youngers stood up.   Little bending forwards, they crossed the deck and disappeared behind the cabin wall one after the other.   The wind blew the empty bag away.
    " What should I do with this ?" Van thought, looking at the jicama.
     Van used his front teeth to peel off part of the skin and bit into the jicama.   He looked  to her; she was sleeping on her side, folding her knees to her chest, facing Van's window.  Kneeling and leaning forwards, Van extended his arm and put the jicama into the  little girl's .

    " To give it to you does not any different, " looking at the lttle girl, Van thought, " because out thrist is too severe, but, at least, it gives a vague shade of meaning to our co- existence."  For a fleeting moment, Van felt desperate. " It can happen that someday you just disppear, and I can't ever see you again." 
    Van moved  back and lay beside Ho-A.  She was on her side with her head on her folded arm.   Moving closer to her, Van put her other arm on his chest.   He felt warmer and fell asleep.  Van did not know that he cried loudly in his sleep.


     When Van woke up, he saw the sihlouette of just an inch height of a ship against the gray sky and the wavy sea.   It was moving slowly south- west.   He thought that he was dreaming because he had seen this scene several times before.   Some passengers had counted nineteen ships passing by and leaving them drifting behind.   Suddenly the ship changed its course and routed straight to the boat.   When the ship came closer, Van saw its bridge and its radio telesope with its turning concave mirror, he woke Ho-A and Dan up, then, Kim and her husband.  They looked to the starboard window.
     " I have the feeling that they will rescue us," Van said.
    " I believe so," the steersman said.
    The ship came closer and closer.  It was a cargo ship with large metal containers on the main deck.   Van stepped up the stern deck.   He heard the steersman tell the mechanic to go to the passengers'  compartment to tell the others to keep quiet and to show that they were all very weak.
  
     " So the ship does not think that we are pirates, " he continued.  " Then you stay on the bow deck as you wish."

    The ship came closer and closer, then, she started to circle around the boat.   Van tried to stand firm on the floor  and waved his hands.   The ship, at the end of the circle, ran south-west.   Van heard noises and commotion in the passengers' compartment.   Then, he saw the mechanic swimming in the middle of the foamy waves the ship left behind.   Van was perplexed.   He moved close to the cabin wall and leaned his hands on the roof.   He watched the ship slowing down, chnging its course, and anchoring about two hundred feetr away from the boat.     Van saw a motor canoe running in the middle of whitecaps towrds the mechanic, who was floating up and down.   Slowly, the canoe approached the mechanic; two sailors pulled him up.   Then, he camoe ran towards the stern of the ship and disappeared behind it.

     The ship stayed anchored, there were no signs of any activities except the radio telescope turning.   The boat was quiet, Van heard only waves falling and window shutters flapping against its sides.

    Van went back to the cabin.  He saw Dan sitting in his usual corner.  Van noticed that his mind seemed dull; he no longer was ready for guessing what would happen.   Lying on his stomach, Van put his  hands on the frame of the window and rested his chin on them.   He watched the ship.  Its large containers on the main deck flashed bright light when the sun appeared in the midst of low clouds; its radio telescope was  turning incessantly.
     " What are they doing?" Dan asked .
     " I don't know."
    " An hour already', Dan said, " What are they waiting for ?"
    " For instructions, maybe ."
    " What type of instructions ?"
   " I don't know."
    " From whom?" Dan asked after a long silence.
    " I don't know, " Van said. " Perhaps the company and the goverment."
   "  Why the government ?"
    "Possibly international politics, policies of refugees' resettlement, finacial matters they have to find the solutions."
    " What 's so important?"
    " If you  don't know, " Van smiled and closed his eyes, " who knows?"
    " Am I  crazy?" Dan said.
     The boat was very quiet and swinging rhythmically, Van heard cracking sounds that a board on the wall of a certain compartment was making.  Van felt asleep.

    When Van woke up, the waves were very tall, almost touching his head.  He saw the dark gray side of the ship moving alongside the boat, and the bot was singing forcefully.   Van ran to the stern deck and looked up to the side of the ship bow.   Some sailors were standing at its rail.   One of them, holding a thin rope, gestured to Van.   He threw the rope down, but Van failed to catch it because the boat swung too fast.   Van succeded at the  second throw.  The sailor made saign to tell him to pull the rope to the peg at the side of the stern.   Holding the end of the large rope, Van walked unsteadily to the peg.  Suddenly he recalled the clove hitch knot he had learned in his elementary school in the area controlled by the resistance government in his country a long time before.   Van made two loops with the end  of the rope and put them together.  He put them around the large wooden peg and held the end of the rope.   He was afraid that the rope would get loose, but the boat already swung up and tied the rope tightly to the peg.   Van stood up, the sailor told him to go to the bow.   Van did  not see any passengers outside.   He used the way along the portside of the boat to reach the boat.  He brought down the second rope and tied it with the same knot to a peg at the bow.    The sailors pulled the boat closer to the ship and dropped down a large net ladder.    Van saw five or six passengers hold the ropes of the ladder when the boat swung up its portside.   They climbed the ladder.  Van wondered why they could reach the ladder so quick.
    " Hey!" somebody on the ship said.
    Van looked up.  The sailor who had thrown the second rope gestured to Van to climb the ladder.   Van climbed up the passengers' deck and waited for the next swing of the boat.   He climbed the ladder, and two sailors pulled him up onto the deck of the ship.   He stood up and, swinging from side to side, walked to the white bridge of the ship.   Van saw  a door at the side of the bridge; he walked inside.   There was a drinking fountain close to the door to a large dining room; he walked to the fountain and bent over it.   Van pressed the button at the side  of the stand and drank water.
     " Not so fast" a male voice behind him said.   Then, somebody held his shirt shoulder and pulled him back.
    " It's enough.  You stoamch can blow up," the tail sailor said and smile .
    Van walked away towards the door.  Suddenly he remembered Ho-A.   He turned back and took a paper cup from a shelf beside the fountain.   He filled the cup with water.   Van walked to the bow of thew ship with the cup in his hands.

     The boat passengers were sitting on the main deck of the ship.   Van saw Ho-A at the end of a row of containers.   Leaning her back against the foot of a crane, she was stretching her legs forward.   Van walked to her, trying not to spill water.   He sat down on the floor and showed thre cup to her.
     " How do you feel? " Van said; " I am sorry that I not wait for you ."
    It's alright, " Ho-A said and took the cup.
   " But where were you since the ship came? " Van asked.
    " I was in the cabin," Ho-A said. " I thought that you went to the passengers' compartment and stayed with Ha-Hue and Hue-Tu, " Van said to Ho- A.
    " What could not be ?"
    " The rescue was so important that I could not see anything."
    " Yes, it is very important that I could see anything."
    " Yes, it is very important, we hoped for it for fourteen days.  You're really strange,
 Van ."
    Van felt desperate.
    " I am very sorry, Ho-A," Van said. " I cannot do anything to change it now.
    " Don't be sorry, Van, " Ho-A said.  " Maybe you were so thirsty that you could not think about anything except water.   I don't mind at all ."

    The sailors pulled the last passengers onto the ship.   Some sailors showed the passengers to the dining room; the rest of them went down to the boat and checked all its compartments.   Then they prepared to tie the boat to the stern of the ship.   Van  followed Ho-A to the bridge.   He still  felt that the ship was swinging.

     They sat at the large table and at the counter, facing the kitchen.   They slowly drank water from small paper cups as the sailors told them.  Van sat on a stool at the end of the counter beside the door to the kitchen.   When he emptied his cup, the sailor who gave him the second rope gestured to him to go into the kitchen.
    " Do you remember me? he  asked.
    "Oh , yes."
   " Come here to help us."
   Van walked into the kitchen.   On the kitchen table behind the counter, there were several small bowls of a very colorful soup with little cubes of chicken, carrot, tomatoo, green vegetables Van did not know their names, and rice.
    " Put them onto the trays, " the sailor said," and distribute them.   Be careful, they are very hot ."
    When Van put the last bowl on the tray, a man of middle age walked into the room.   The steersman of the boat, in an Adidas sport suit, followed him.
    " My friends, " the steersman said, " this is the captain."
   " Welcome to my ship, " the captain said, and the steersman translated.
    " The Captain seemed to be more Japanese than Korean, " Van thought.
    " I am very sorry; it took to long to board you on my ship because I had to wait for authorizations.  I am very happy that my Goverment and my Company allowed me to receive you.   We have enough food, but I an sorry that we cannot provide clothes for you.  We might change the travell course to bring you to land as soon as possible ."
    The captain walked around the room.

     " Please eat and drink slowly and take only what we serve," the captain said, " because your stomachs rested for longtime; they need time to go back to normal functioning ."

   Van distributed soup to the boat passengers.
    The captain went around the room and talked to the refugees, smiling.
    " Please rest and limit your activities.  We will arrange rooms for you to rest," the captain said, leaving the dining room, followed by the steersman.
    Van stood at the kitchen table, stiff and silent.   He had the feeling that he had lived that moment somewhere before.

    " In his dream, on the boat, in the concentration camp, in a military training camp, or ... " Van thought and could not to be certain.

    After  finishing his bowl of soup, Van went to the stern deck.   The ship started moving south, pulling along the boat  behind her .
    Van stayed on the ship for four days and three nights.   He exchanged with a sailor his small ring for a carton of cigarettes and a used razor. Hew started when he first looked at his face in the mirror.

    During the nights, he was on the corridor of the bridge.  Once the captain talked to him and said that he was sorry that there was no room inside for Van.   He asked Van not to let anyone wander around at night.  The first night, Van stayed in the corridor with two youngsters who had eaten the last jicamas.  The seond night, they disppeared   some- where.  Van did not see Ho-A, Ha-Hue, Hue-Tu , and dan.   Van missed them.  It was a little windy and cold in the corridor at night.   Sometimes Van heard jazz music in his sleep and thought in his dream, that it was the calls of some legendary mermaids, and he was certain that he would never jump into the sea to look for new experiences.

    During the days, Van  spent most of his time on the stern deck of the ship, smoking and watching the boat behind the stern.   He was aware that he never thought about what he would do in the future.   On the third day, they had to cut the ropes to release the boat before it broke into pieces.   Van watched the boat disappear into the white-foamed waves and missed the days with Ho-A and Dan.

    After a sailor filled the flag of Panama on her stern, the ship approached a large port and enchored in its bay.   Soon after, two motorboats approached alongside the ship, and some groups of reporters with cameras and recorders climbed up the stairs at her portside.   They moved around, flashing light, taking pictures,  nad interviewing passengers and sailors.  Van stayed at the stern rail and felt rather irritated.

       Before dark, the local police boarded the ship. Van was the  first passenger going throughh the identification procedure, the flashing light paralyzed for several seconds.  Then, he returned to the stern deck.  Staring at the dark water in the bay, he missed the battered boat.